Tuesday, December 18, 2012

my last night being 50

wow! and what a year it was!!

i didn't make my goal of doing 50 things i've never done before, but i did 27!! and out of that 27 there were three that were real highlights.

the first was the triathlon where i raised money to support the leukemia & lymphoma society. this was such an adventure, but so totally out of my comfort zone. but i really am proud of this one and proud of all the people who helped me achieve my fundraising goal. i believe i really did help someone by doing what i did, but also learning that i can't do everything by myself. life lesson learned.

the second was my volunteering to be a poll (yes, remember two Ls) worker during the 2012 elections. this really was a lifelong dream and i am soooooo glad i did it. there aren't many opportunities these days to really feel like you are contributing to the political process of democracy for which we all are so proud. this was an easy way to do it. amazingly, people thanked me for being there. i thanked them for giving me a reason to be there. it was a mutual admiration society and it, at least for a little while, restored my faith in my fellow americans.

the third is signing up for the american cancer society study. i come from a very small family, and i have no experience with relatives with any long-term or short-term sicknesses. at least that's what i used to tell myself, until i remembered that my stepfather died from pancreatic cancer. and that i had a scare with breast cancer. and my husband has a form of skin cancer. so signing up for this study is a really easy way to help. i filled out a form, gave a little blood and that was it. who knows? maybe it will help someone avoid the traumas of cancer.

but it's also been a year of growth, of new lessons learned, old lessons reinforced, and even a few disappointments along the way.

but the biggest lesson of all this year, was the fact that i don't have to do new things all the time (or any time), not that it wasn't fun to think of and accomplish. but that i have such blessings in my life in the form of my family and friends and, even, myself. that i still choose to get excited about little things like fireworks, shooting stars (still haven't seen one, but i hope), dancing for no reason, singing out of tune, and generally trying to squeeze all the life out of a day, a minute, a moment. trying to get that good out of the bad. it's not always easy, and as a matter of fact, it's not even always possible. but the possibility is always there.

this 50th year, for me, taught me so much that i have no choice but to be a changed person moving forward. and, that's good and that's bad. because change is hard, sometimes, but it's also good, sometimes.

good-bye year 50. it was fun. i'm a little sad. fifty-one just doesn't have the same ring to it. but it's certainly better than the alternative. :-)

maybe 51@51? i could work harder at it ... maybe.

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